Meeting Shou
by reminiscent-afterthought
Summary: [Next] You were a cute kid when I first met you. - Norun
1. When I First Met You

**A/N:** Written for the Diversity Writing Challenge, C8 – drabble novel with "chapters" under 500 words, and for the Becoming the Tamer King Challenge, Data Forest Task.

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**Meeting Shou  
1\. When I First Met You**

You were a cute kid when I first met you.

Of course, I didn't know much about humans back then. But you were still cute. Changing colours –now I know it's blushing, but not then. And you were nice.

And your eyes were kind. Digimon have expression in their eyes too and, then, it was the only thing I could base my assessment off. Your kind eyes.

I'd been lucky to find someone kind, amongst all the people who used battling digimon for their own amusement.

I was still doubtful though. You might've only been nice because I looked human.


	2. Now You Are

**Meeting Shou  
2\. Now You Are…**

You've changed. I can't call you cute anymore, and it's not just because I have a better understanding of the human definition of cute. It's because you've changed.

You used to be so kind. I say that both before and after learning your human meaning of kindness. It's not so different from our digimon one. We're not so different after all: humans and digimon. But I'd already suspected that.

That's why I went to the human world, and I don't regret. I wouldn't have met you otherwise. You and your friends. And hope.

But you're not the same person now.


	3. You Fixed My Bow

**Meeting Shou  
3\. You Fixed my Bow**

You fixed my bow for me. I'd added it to the assemble because I was copying the outfit of a doll and the bow was a part of it. Perhaps not the wisest choice, but their clothing seemed more consistent to the clothing of humans.

Keeping in mind that this was a time where I had no idea of the difference between the male and female gender.

We digimon don't really have that. Gender differences. Though we have things similar to ethnicity and social status. Just not gender. Only gender roles.

You were blushing the entire time you fixed it.


	4. Now You Wear

**Meeting Shou  
4\. Now You Wear**

You wear that suit of armour now. I don't know why; it makes you look closed off, and it doesn't suit you. You're not a fighter. And it shows in the way you go out. You don't fight battles. You're like an assassain – and its scary how you fit into that role, because you're really too kind to be any kind of killer at all.

Or you were. Something's changed, now. You're willing to cause all this pain when before it would have torn you apart. I don't understand why you've changed –

But I can see wounds beneath the armour.


	5. You Gave me a Smile

**Meeting Shou  
5\. You Gave me a Smile**

I was lonely still, and scared. It was a new world and I felt like the young child whose form I wore. And perhaps you saw me like that as well: as a young, lost child. You offered your hand. And you smiled.

Somehow, that smile put me at ease. Perhaps it was designed to do that, but I think not. I saw few young children, in the time I spent with you. That smile seemed to be used more often with your parents, to put them at ease, to coax their eyes away.

But for me…they drew me in.


	6. Now You Don't Smile

**Meeting Shou**  
**6\. Now You Don't Smile**

You don't smile anymore. I wonder…when was the last time you did? Somewhere during the time I vanished and the time you saw me again – and I miss that smile. The smile that could calm me so easily.

That straight line your lips now make scares me instead. There's something ruthless in them, and I can't help but wonder that if Barbamon orders it, you'll strike me down as well.

You even fight our friends, and unlike them who can't see past your mask, you know it's them.

I can only hold on to the hope that you're holding back.


	7. You Taught me Trust

**Meeting Shou  
7\. You Taught me Trust**

When we first met, you promised to come back the next day. And I figured that was a good test, to see if humans made good on their word or not, and you did. So I took that to mean all humans did, until some time later those older boys in the park tricked me out of our ball and you and Tsurugi chased them down.

If it'd been the other way, trusting again would've been very difficult, I think. But you gave me a reason to trust before that, and so I could trust in humanity as a whole.


	8. Now You Don't Trust

**Meeting Shou**  
**8\. Now You Don't Trust**

Now you keep to yourself. Even when you visit me, you say almost nothing: just repeat that old promise and you should know I trust you to keep it without reminding me every day.

Sometimes, I wonder if you remind me because you're afraid _you'll_ forget – but, sometimes, it seems there's another reason. One I don't understand. Maybe it's another human thing: one of the many things I didn't get the opportunity to learn, and I wish I could ask you but you never stay long enough to hear my reply.

I know you're trying to protect me, but this…


	9. You Were Happy Then

**Meeting Shou**  
**9\. You were Happy Then**

You were happy, with your friends. Even before I came along, and that didn't change when I joined in as well. You'd always say I fit in perfectly with the rest of you, and I guess I did. I didn't know how it felt to not fit in, after all. Not then, in any case.

Afterwards, in Barbamon's hands for those lonely hands, and then meeting you again…well, that's a different tale. But you were happy. And it wasn't just the smiles. It was something deeper: in your eyes, your touch, in your manner – and you made me happy too.


	10. Now You're Not Happy

**Meeting Shou**  
**10\. Now You're Not Happy**

You're not happy now. Your eyes are dull, and your movements robotic. I don't know if this is sadness or not. I don't _know_ sadness, because you and the rest of our friends were never sad when I was there with you.

Though I'm sure you were sad when I disappeared, and I'm sorry.

But now… I don't really know what it is now. A sort of detachment, perhaps. Humans are not robots, after all. Neither are digimon. But you're trying to be that way and I don't think you're forcing it either.

Your eyes are drowning in darkness too.


	11. You Believed Then

**Meeting Shou**  
**11\. You Believed Then**

You believed in the world, when we first met. When I told you I didn't because I barely knew the world, barely knew humans. And you told me all the amazing things humans did – and the most amazing of them all was their ability to hang on to hope no matter what they were faced with.

You told me all the horrible things they've done as well – but always looked at the silver lining of it all.

But maybe it was because you were young. Those bad things were far away and the good close. But whichever way, you believed.


	12. Now You Don't Believe

**Meeting Shou**  
**12\. Now You Don't Believe**

Now the bad things have come closer, haven't they? Is this growing up, or is it a deeper, darker wound that I could have deflected or softened or healed if only I'd been there with you?

Is this what's called survivor's guilt? I remember someone mentioning those words once, but not you. But is that why you've shut everyone out now? You're afraid of losing them too? Because your promise to protect me, and the way you cling to it – I know it's not because you hate.

And Tsurugi…you spared Tsurugi. But you don't accept the hand he'd offer…or mine.


End file.
